What is it we really desire? Is it the thing that is deep within us that we don't understand? I wonder why I am just as happy on my knees as her on her knees. I have been the dominate person in our relationship before, it seems like she didn't enjoy it as much and I didn't care either way. I find I am to the extreme and I don't know how to be normal, so to speak. I think either way I desire to please her, to make her desire me as I desire her. I really want this thing to work, the marriage and much more the relationship for us to be best friends, lovers and partners. I am not easy to get along with by all means, my nature can be right down mean, so I bury myself into these roles hoping to add excitement. Don't get me wrong there is something deep inside me that draws me to dressing like a girl and acting like one even wondering if I was suppose to be one.
I stay pretty much in the closet on things that don't seem to be normal. I know these little quirks and strong desires can run off the one I love so deeply, I've already done it once. My first marriage ending, we had sex everyday and sometimes more and I usually masturbated on the sly getting off as many as 5 times a day and averaged about 3 times a day.
Back in my single days the ladies didn't mind all the attention and the fact I could screw them until they had had enough or die trying. And if that wasn't enough I'd bury my face in their love nest for hours, I was pretty much adventurous to anything but wanted it to be heterosexual in nature. But on occasion I've been bent over and screwed by my lovers. I've been with more than one girl at a time a both always seem to leave satisfied. I tied them up and have been tied up by them it didn't matter to me. She cold wear my drawers and I've had some initiate my crossdressing without knowing that side of me. I've painted the nails and had mine painted by them. I've shave their pussies and they have shaved my cock. I really don't enjoy giving or receiving pain but have been on both sides of a good spanking and mild tit torture.
In all the things I've done I wanted my partner to orgasm as many times as they wanted. All of them are different some have little orgasm and some have big orgasm and some I wonder if they ever had an orgasm, in their life. I love to get in their head a play out their fantasy verbally while I'm in control and I love the return just as well.
Ever wonder what a good relationship looks like, not a good but a great relationship. I think it would look like this; to people wanting to please the other so much they have to draw straws to see who goes first. Usually one's giving and one receiving but that's really not how it is suppose to be, both should be giving. But some people give better than others and some give in such a way that it is received better. The way we give is usually the way we like to receive, but not always. It also is some kind of mutual respect, if I am submissive by nature my partner has to respect and appreciate that part of me just as I appreciate her natural desire to dominate, if we don't we will quickly become bored with each other.
In a relationship we need something that always holds us together. Let's face it in my case I desire to grow old with her. So how do we stay fresh? It's hard and I'm not talking about my penis. With mutual friends, family and interest helps and I think it's good to have lost of memories , I rather all of them be good but even some bad memories can help. Bad memories can't out weigh the good but they help to remember how we got through, experiences. We need to remember back and know that we are loved.
The desires of my heart is to be hers. Love you my dear.
